10 pieces to HATE
April 6, 2010 at 8:09 PM I know, hate is a strong word, but I gotta stick with it here. Spent a day on the market today and came away with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. So many perfectly lovely shops have so many perfectly hideous things for sale. Why why why can't the world be more like Crate & Barrel -- some pretty colour, a little something for everyone, everything plays nice together and isn't a gazillion dollars? Sigh. I can remain silent no longer and am now launching my campaign to ban the following items from sale and manufacture. Who's with me? Should we start a Facebook group? In no particular order here are my top 10 offenders:
1. The leather/faux leather tombstone chair. Amazingly you can spend $800 on one of these it'll look exactly like the $109 version. These cast a pall over any space they enter.
2. And while we're in the dining room, I can't think of any table less hospitable than this. It's all cold, hard glass and metal with sharp edges everywhere. There are SOO MANY of these for sale. Who is buying them? And if you've got one, please, do a me a favour and let your dinner guests know that elbow pads and shin guards a de rigueur at your next dinner party.
3. This thing. Ugh. Don't care if it's the "real" version with the Swarovski crystals or the umpteen cheap knock offs. Don't like. Don't think it's cool, or edgy. Will never ever like.
4. O dear little cushion, I know you want to seem happy and springy and colourful, but you have gone wrong in so many ways. Your colours are garish. You are too small. Your fabric is shiny and cheap. You are filled with fibrefil that will lump and flatten in a matter of months. You have no zipper so I cannot even try to replace your filler with a down/feather one. Sorry, we are not friends.
5. Dear Shinto stool, the only way you can make me happy is if you offer up yourself and all of your kin as kindling for my fireplace.
6. I am certain that poor Billy Baldwin writhes in agony in design heaven looking down on the banality of this version of the slipper chair. 6 a) any toss cushion that comes with a piece of furniture should immediately live up to its name and be tossed!
7. You poor sad creature. We can't even really call you a lamp, can we? You are the Tofurky of lighting.
8. Hey, I know what we can do tonight. Let's pop some popcorn, then curl up on the sofa together to watch a great movie. Oh....maybe not.
9. ...Or, if you want to stay in and roast marshmallows by the fire instead we can just skewer up these supersized ones from the sofa.
10. Honest, I kid you not. They have this stuff at lots of furniture stores. And people buy it. And they sleep here???????????? Then again, Jersey Shore is a big hit on TV, right?
Reader Comments (19)
I hate those 'chandeleirs', too.
I'm so with you on this. There are also some scary window treatments out there you can save for another installment :)
please add those friggin upholstered cubes! no! they are not cool, trendy, comfortable, and I definitely will not put two or three together to make a coffee table or tray rest. ugh!
Well I have to agree on some of these but do not agree on the linear crystal chandelier..james moder does a beautiful one BUT you have to use it correctly. Despite the scary thought of having you check out my blog and website portfolio :) you can view a quite unusual kitchen where we did these lights and they worked out great..in fact, won an award for the kitchen! Not that amounts to a hill of beans though! Or check out Decorating Diva's profile this week....the pix is on the front page. I guess I am man enough to take the criticism!!
Also, the pillows...if cheap..yes hate..but Romo fabrics has some beautiful ( and expensive) fabrics that are well done versions...the bedroom I abhor....the chair makes me tired. The table...eh, maybe in right setting..but the rest you nailed! Great post!!
~~Cheryl Kees Clendenon
a WORLD of difference between anything Romo and this little cushion pretender. Love Romo.
I hate ALL of these too. I would add televisions over fireplaces. Who finds that viewing angle comfortable?!
Haha! I love this post, Margot!
Hilarious!
I call sofas like #9 "puffalumps."
Oh Margot...I just adore you! xT.
I'm laughing out loud right now- this is a great post! Totally 10 things I will never have in my home for sure!!
oh margot! i'm giddy and giggling at your wit and wisdom, insight and exquisite taste- wheeee....!
Love to love you, baby! Absolutely essential reading. I feel bad for the little floral print cushion - I think it needs a top 10 of its own ("Worst Pillows... Ever") so that it doesn't feel so lonely.
Index fingers bent & bitten .. we're so proud! ;)
Joy & Janet
uh oh, I'm a twice offender here... I hold my head in shame :(
Whew. Thank God there's nothing here that I have in my house - although I do have two couches in the living room that, if not outright marshmallowy, are pretty, uhmm, fluffy. I didn't really get why you were hating on the pillow until I heard the words "cheap and shiny fabric". Yuck. But really, folks, whatever Margot hates, I hate too - coz she has exquisite taste.....
YIKES! Ok gotta calm down, so the only hope for the chair is a slipcover, the glass top table should be listed on craigs list, today! The "chandelier , Hmm, edgey, How about using it an a garage, or a tiny tiny power room , the Cheery little cushion has found a new home at the Goodwiil, not that I'm knocking them, the "asian stool , bury it ,dig it up in a few, say twenty years and see if its aquired anything ressembling a "patina", the slipperchair, burn it, lamp? what lamp?, The oh sooo modern sofa belongs at the airport, the traditional sofa thing needs one match and two gallons of gasoline, applied in a reponsible manner of course,and lastly some please call Tony Soprano, an tell im dat sumbuddy stole his furnitures
Re: your tenth hated piece - check out Franco Cozzo!!
You made my day.
Start an annual list........please!
I feel like that was bubbling inside you so long, you sat down and wrote it in 10 minutes. Volcanic rage. I couldn't agree more, my blood pressure rose with each perfect example.
F those leather dining chairs!